The President of Ijebu-Ode Grade 11 Customary Court in Ogun State, Chief Theophilus Adenaike, recently expressed serious concern over the high divorce rate in the area in recent time.
Adenaike identified the lack of planning, impatience, immaturity and economic challenges as some of the major factors responsible for the upsurge in divorce cases in the country.
He noted with regret that many couples decided to go into marriage without familiarising themselves with the necessary orientation and implications of marital vows. He said that no day passes without couples coming to court to seek for divorce.
Adenaike declared, "There is an upsurge in the rate of divorce cases because many couples marry through the back door without adequate planning. "Most marriages are contracted without a bride price.
"What we see now is that a man will just see a woman and impregnate her without knowing her parents, and the next thing you see is that the woman has packed into the man's house.
"Whenever there is crisis, there will be nobody to intervene, and the next thing they do is to approach the court for divorce."
My Reaction
Many found themselves in this mistake elaborated above in the past, and at present, yet don't know to how correct it. There's the need to find possible solution to it when we can diagonise the cause; in order to avoid it's continue occurence in the life of couples or lovers in the future. Despite the fact that Mr Adenaike spoke well of the causes of divorce, I think, he failed to elaborate on the possible solution to this persistent problem in our society . To my own point of view, I think the cause varies. However, the principle problem is the today's cost of celebrating marriages in our society . Secondly most families believe that the rate of abortion in our society is the cause why most marriages today are unfruitful.As a result they (parents of the man) would want their sons to pregnate their fiancee before taking her to the altar. Another cause is poverty, when a decent girl is trapped in the arm of a rich guy, money dictates the way the relationship or marriage would go. Money pleases the heart of the bride and her family. Because, the parents' hearts are gladened by the high-class marriage ceremony that would pivot their daughter into her matrimonial home. Another cause is that, if you aren't a graduate or fully employed ,most parents would do everything to discourage their daughter from marry you, in order to protect the family pride. The parents won't care if these two people love themselves or if they would be capable enough to make a better future together with the little resources available to them at that moment . They undermine the principle role of parents ; which is to help their kids make a good marriage life; principally built on love. Unfortunately more than 80% want a marriage that is built on wealth and in a high standard . The type that would make them feel proud before others. That is why I have expected the magistrate to prescribe a possible solution to these deficiencies in marriages. In addition, I think the couples have a strong role to play too. They themselves must decide to diagonise the cause of their marriage problem. In the course of doing that , they would have to take some critical decision to accept what they can't change and change what they can ; so that they can gradually become compactible with each other. While those who are preparing to live as man as wife should know that what matter most is them, and only them can choose their destiny and not parents and friends. They most learn to understand each other first, love each other and be courageous enough to take the risk with determination that the they would succeed and the future would be bright by their own effort and with the help of their creator who ordained it that way. When he said that ''a man must leave his father and mother and unite with his wife and and both shall become one''. Gen: 2:24. In summary, they should learn to know that love can't grow when there's no understanding. Is only when there is understanding both can learn to accept each other and love each other . Because when there is no love there can't be sharing . Is only when there is sharing , caring , loving , good sexual relationship and above all fear of God , then marriage will find it base and become sacred in the life of the couples.
Adenaike identified the lack of planning, impatience, immaturity and economic challenges as some of the major factors responsible for the upsurge in divorce cases in the country.
He noted with regret that many couples decided to go into marriage without familiarising themselves with the necessary orientation and implications of marital vows. He said that no day passes without couples coming to court to seek for divorce.
Adenaike declared, "There is an upsurge in the rate of divorce cases because many couples marry through the back door without adequate planning. "Most marriages are contracted without a bride price.
"What we see now is that a man will just see a woman and impregnate her without knowing her parents, and the next thing you see is that the woman has packed into the man's house.
"Whenever there is crisis, there will be nobody to intervene, and the next thing they do is to approach the court for divorce."
My Reaction
Many found themselves in this mistake elaborated above in the past, and at present, yet don't know to how correct it. There's the need to find possible solution to it when we can diagonise the cause; in order to avoid it's continue occurence in the life of couples or lovers in the future. Despite the fact that Mr Adenaike spoke well of the causes of divorce, I think, he failed to elaborate on the possible solution to this persistent problem in our society . To my own point of view, I think the cause varies. However, the principle problem is the today's cost of celebrating marriages in our society . Secondly most families believe that the rate of abortion in our society is the cause why most marriages today are unfruitful.As a result they (parents of the man) would want their sons to pregnate their fiancee before taking her to the altar. Another cause is poverty, when a decent girl is trapped in the arm of a rich guy, money dictates the way the relationship or marriage would go. Money pleases the heart of the bride and her family. Because, the parents' hearts are gladened by the high-class marriage ceremony that would pivot their daughter into her matrimonial home. Another cause is that, if you aren't a graduate or fully employed ,most parents would do everything to discourage their daughter from marry you, in order to protect the family pride. The parents won't care if these two people love themselves or if they would be capable enough to make a better future together with the little resources available to them at that moment . They undermine the principle role of parents ; which is to help their kids make a good marriage life; principally built on love. Unfortunately more than 80% want a marriage that is built on wealth and in a high standard . The type that would make them feel proud before others. That is why I have expected the magistrate to prescribe a possible solution to these deficiencies in marriages. In addition, I think the couples have a strong role to play too. They themselves must decide to diagonise the cause of their marriage problem. In the course of doing that , they would have to take some critical decision to accept what they can't change and change what they can ; so that they can gradually become compactible with each other. While those who are preparing to live as man as wife should know that what matter most is them, and only them can choose their destiny and not parents and friends. They most learn to understand each other first, love each other and be courageous enough to take the risk with determination that the they would succeed and the future would be bright by their own effort and with the help of their creator who ordained it that way. When he said that ''a man must leave his father and mother and unite with his wife and and both shall become one''. Gen: 2:24. In summary, they should learn to know that love can't grow when there's no understanding. Is only when there is understanding both can learn to accept each other and love each other . Because when there is no love there can't be sharing . Is only when there is sharing , caring , loving , good sexual relationship and above all fear of God , then marriage will find it base and become sacred in the life of the couples.
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